I’m starting a new portion of entries in My blog- the Dominatrix Dialogues. Each entry will either be based either in part or in whole on a “live” conversation I’ve had with someone, or a more personal (regarding Myself) email correspondence I’ve had with someone (with their personal information omitted).
So, here is the first of many Dominatrix Dialogues 
Recently, during an evening of rather flowing free association based conversation, a good friend asked Me,
“So who are You competing with?”
Despite our rather tangent oriented dialogue, the question sort of caught Me off guard. I asked in what regard did he mean by that question, and he said he meant it in both a personal and a general business sense.
“Well, no one I suppose,” was My answer.
“Come one, be honest. Competition is what motivates most of us, and You seem more motivated than a lot of people. So… who are You competing with?” he asked again.
“No one. No one but Myself.”
And that’s the truth. ‘January’ was a girl I created a long time ago. And while i may have caught up with, and even surpassed that first idealized version of Myself, there is always an upgraded idealized self floating around in My mind, and I’m always racing to catch up with “Her”. It’s a never ending competition, My race, and I will never catch up. But it’s fun
“Who’s competing against You then?” he further queried.
“I have no idea if anyone is, or who they would be if they are,” was and is My honest answer.
Competition is a concept that I’ve actually worked hard to not embrace in My adult life. It’s based on comparison- Comparing yourself to others, comparing one’s work to others, constantly monitoring and judging other people and what they do and how they do and it and then judging oneself to see you think you measure up..
All of that takes a lot of time, energy, and mental space.
As a human being, a Dominatrix, a FemDom adult performer, an adult website developer and producer, I am My own worst critic, and My own best competitor. I don’t need anyone else to motivate Me.
