Lately, the theme of exclusion seems to be relevant in my life.

I identify as the following: A Dominatrix, An Adult Performer, A Sex Worker and a Member of the Adult Industry. However, it would seem that others claim they have more stake in those groups than I do, or that I have no stake at all.

Too “porn” to be a Dominatrix..

A little over a year ago I was invited, and then uninvited, to be a part of a calendar project, showcasing Pro Dommes. After ascertaining that the project wasn’t actually a profitable revenue source for the publisher, and that the calendars were also donated to raise funds for various BDSM groups, I also offered to donate a full day of studio time to the calendar, to shoot whomever else the publisher chose.

I was uninvited after the publisher of the calendar realized a few days after inviting me that I also work as an adult performer. Her email to me was the following:

“Dearest January, I would like to know if you are continuing to produce and star in videos for Smutty Productions and Ball Busting/CBT torment. On a professional level this concerns me greatly. I require that all of the Pro Dommes in my production are not filming any sexual acts to protect my name, and themselves as well. I truly appreciate your allowing us to shoot at Ivy Manor, and look forward to working with you.
Sincerely, ”

My response was, “While I am no longer producing as part of Smutty Productions, I will continue to combine BDSM with sexual acts in videos that I am in in the future. My stance is that a sex worker is a sex worker is a sex worker, regardless of what subcategory of sex work they perform. To differentiate to attain an imaginary moral high ground is narrow minded, short sighted and counterproductive to sex workers rights and the sex positive feminist movement.

To preserve your good name, I am withdrawing my invitation to use my studio free of charge for your production.

Best Regards,
January”

Not long after that incident, I decided to audit a three day seminar in SF that was a training course for aspiring Pro Dominatrices. I only attended one day, as I was actually quite offended by one of the instructors. When showing me where the restrooms in the playspace were, she pointed out that one was private with a door that would lock, and one was not, with a toilet in a room without a door where people could view the person using the facility directly, or walk into the room to use the sink.

“But I’m sure you have no need for the private facility, I’ve seen your videos,” she snidely remarked with a smile.

Really? In what video have you seen me using the restroom? The truth is, I have total public restroom anxiety, and only use them if absolutely necessary. The non private restroom she had shown me is kind of on my list of “dreads”.

Those are only two examples of those in the Pro Domme community who have decided that I’m not a part of the “in crowd” because I also do adult video work. There’s quite a few others who have expressed similar sentiments.

TBC..