“It’s my birthmonth!” I’d exclaim happily or indignantly, depending on what this statement was in response to.
“No, you get a day. A birthday. Everyone gets a day.”
“Well I get a month. Everything is always more intense for me, so should my celebration of my own life be too.”

When it came time to choose a name for myself, I chose my month. So that in a way, its always January.

This year feels different. It has nothing to do with how young I’m turning this month. It has more to do with things suddenly having worked themselves out in different areas of my life. I’ve finally resolved almost all of the major ongoing conflicts in my life, and suddenly have the time and space to reassess my goals. What my goals and aspirations were 3 years ago may end up being different from what I want now.

I’ve won back the videos I co-produced with an ex and starred in at least half of, but it took about 3 years to get to that point. During that time the adult industry has been shifting. So I’m not sure if it’s a market I want to jump right back into, at least not yet. So I’m having the existing yet unreleased videos edited and will see how they do on VOD sites, Clips4Sale, and a membership site before I started producing much of anything new.

My home life has finally settled down, now that it’s become clear what Sophie Monroe’s true intentions were all of last year (see this post). With that turn of events, and the personal relationship dynamics that resolved themselves after that revelation, I’ve decided that I really want San Francisco to be my home, not LA, so I’m working on building out a new playspace (again) in SF.

I still plan on spending about the same amount of time in LA as I have been for the last year, about 7-10 days per month, but don’t plan on spending as much time traveling elsewhere. I was averaging 3-4 weeks a month on the road last year- it’s too much to keep your sanity or have any sort of less than superficial friendship or relationship with anyone, except yourself. I suppose the plus side is I got to know myself a whole lot better than I had previously.

Over the last year I’ve been questioning what it is that I’m really seeking as far as the arena of Professional Domination is concerned. I’ve been asking myself where I find the most joy and satisfaction in working with people in an intimate capacity lies, and this is what I’ve come up with:

I love forming long lasting relationships with those who submit to Me. Be it a genuine friendship with kinky play periodically or a long term slave training arrangement, the feeling of connectedness that I’m constantly seeking is much more prevalent in those encounters and relationships than the random one or two hour sessions. I love the intensity of first time meetings, but then am a little disappointed if that energetic exchange doesn’t continue. So while I won’t flat out turn down those who haven’t expressed a potential interest in developing something more with Me, I have already begun to prioritize those who have made a more serious commitment to Me. Right now I’m crazy busy, perhaps I’ve marketed myself too well? But it’s hard to nail me down for a first time session, and I apologize for that, but it’s just a matter of only having so much energy to give and refusing to overextend Myself more than I currently do. If you’re serious about wanting to session with Me, be politely persistent and eventually it will happen. I’m not ready to make the leap to attempt to having a booking assistant again (yet) so My inbox overflows daily and there is no chance I will ever catch up until I’ve found the right fit for someone to assist Me. So, if there’s longer than a 3-4 day delay in getting a response from Me, just resend your previous email with a polite reminder.

The other area of Pro Domination that I’ve really been enjoying is working with couples. I come from a swinger lifestyle background so I’m comfortable and quite adept at participating in established couples intimate interactions while paying close attention to their stated boundaries and level of comfort based on their non verbal communication. For some couples, this looks like My “Serve up the slut” roleplay where I “prepare” which ever part of the couple is submissive to their dominant partner for them to enjoy on their own when I’m done. For others, I provide the framework for their own kinky play, and then stay to be a voyeur, a director, or sometimes to assist in filming their BDSM or fetish fantasy made reality so they have a long lasting memento. Still other couples come to Me seeking to learn new skills in a controlled private environment, so that they learn safely, correctly, and without judgement from non involved parties. Group learning environments aren’t for everyone.